The Bane of my Life
by Houndingwolf
Summary: Inuyasha reflects on the new moon, his friends, and his feelings. One-shot. REDONE!


This is my first Inuyasha fanfic, so sorry if it sucks. It's written from Inuyasha's POV, in case you're wondering. Please review, even if you don't like it. That way I can change it to make it better. If you are someone who actually reads these little messages at the beginnings of chapters and does like this sad excuse for a one-shot, then you can check out my other stories, which are multi-chaptered. "Scars of Betrayal Never Heal" is Yu Yu Hakusho, and "Screwed Up Songs To Fit Inuyasha And Co." is of course, a Dogboy fic.

I don't own Inuyasha, but I will own the manga with the money I earned keeping hyper third-graders from tearing the house down. A.k.a., babysitting. 

***

New moon. Those two simple words have the bane of my entire life. That time of the month when my accursed _hanyou_ blood weakens me to nothing more than a mere mortal. 

Every month I endure the pain. Of course no one thinks that the change does hurt. Through my bitter experiences I've trained my face not to show the torture as my dog-ears are pulled halfway down my skull, then beaten into a rounded shape that leaves me almost deaf. Not one of them can tell that I am going through such agony, when my lethally sharp claws retract into my hands, turning dull and blunt like a block of wood. Or when all my senses are dimmed into only a faint echo of what they were before. Sometimes I can even feel my silver-white mane darkening to the deep jet of a human.

Not only does my body change, but so do my thoughts and feelings. The first night Kagome saw me transform, I blurted out that she smelled nice. I mean, she does, but did I have to say that? As a human I'm so more liable to show my emotions. Heck, probably if I didn't watch what I said then I might find myself uttering those two simple, dangerous words. "_Ai shiteru._" 

But I could've lived the rest of my life, had that bastard Naraku not brought the illusion of betrayal to Kikyo and I. An old wound in my chest that I thought was healed long ago, gives out a jolt of pain whenever I think of her. 

Before she had pinned me to a tree, before I had terrorized her village and attempted to steal the _Shikon no Tama_, I had loved her. Hell, I still do, but she had loved me in return back then, and our feelings for each other were untainted.

"Inuyasha, you can use the _Shikon_ jewel to become human", Kikyou had once said to me. I wanted to be with her, to live the rest of my life with this woman so badly, that I agreed. But we all know how that turned out.

Now, whenever the damned new moon comes, I remember what I had promised her. This was the way I'd have looked if Naraku had never sowed his foul seeds of hatred in our lives. This is a symbol of the life I could've had.

Feh. Yeah, that I _could've_ had. But I didn't have it; instead I got myself skewered to the _Go-Shinboku_ tree by Kikyou's arrow for fifty years. Then I got woken up to the face of her who I thought had betrayed me. Great way to start life again, ne?

So now I'm stuck with Miroku, Sango, Shippou, and Kagome to hunt down (literally) the shards of the broken _Shikon no Tama_.

Miroku, the perverted _houshi_. He is always groping Sango, but once you kinda overlook all the "Will you bear my child?"s, he's not that bad of a guy. He is always covering up the fact that he might die soon from his own hand unless he kills Naraku. His fighting skills are good, and that _Kazaana_ of his has saved my sorry ass a lot, not that I'll admit it. Now that I've mastered the Tetsusaiga, I'd like to have a little match with him, just for the hell of it. I only fought him once, before he joined us.

Sango, the _taiji-ya_. Naraku also used her. He possessed her little brother so that he killed several of her fellow exterminators, including her father. She had been mistaken for dead, so she was buried alive. Naraku realized she lived, so he healed her wounds and fed her a fake story about how I attacked her village and killed everyone just for a _Shikon _shard. Damn son of a bitch, he was really the one who had done that. But after fighting her and Naraku, she finally found out who her true allies were. Good thing, too. She's not that bad of a fighter, and knows a lot about demons. Her fire-cat, Kirara, has also kept Shippou out of trouble. Well, most of the time.

Shippou, the annoying _kitsune_. He's the only full _youkai_ in our pack, aside from a few times I got really pissed off or the Tetsusaiga was broken. He's basically a baby fox demon who like playing tricks on me, but if I try to kill him, I know Kagome will sit me big time. To be honest, his mischief isn't really that bad. He kinda reminds me of myself as a pup. 

And then there's Kagome, the reincarnation of Kikyo. She is kind and tries to help all of us at the same time, which ends up in her being really tired by the end of the day. Her archery has started to rival Kikyou's. Sometimes when she sees me in my human form she cries. The girl does that a lot, and it makes me nervous. I've never really had someone shed tears for me before. I feel so confused around her. She looks so much like Kikyou, but then again, she seems so different. When I'm caught staring or saying something better left unsaid, I try to cover it up with a "Feh", but sometimes I think her eyes can see right through me. Through this disguise I hide behind, knowing that if I let her know my true feelings I would pay for it, the way I did with Kikyou.

But then I mentally shake my head and glance at the sky to see if the moonless night is over. No, you may think you know me, Kagome, but I'm a much more complicated guy than you could ever imagine.


End file.
